Should I leave abroad to work or go back home? I’m 28, a freelancer for two years in media/photography/journalism with expertise of nearly a decade in the field. I have never lived abroad because I always found work at home or excuses not to leave my home town, but I am part torn apart because I realize and understand my opportunities to grow as an individual and earn the money that could secure me a better life are not necessarily bound to my country.
I suffer of depression and anxiety for 7 years now. Currently on treatment for the first time, I am in Barcelona, to take care of a photography show I’m part of.
I was offered a managing editor job in Berlin for a big popular project in arts&publishing and my future employer flew to Barcelona to meet me. He offered me “a chance to grow”, pay for my rent for the first 3 trial months and give me a flat salary of 1500 eur, saying we will renegotiate after the trial. It’s too little money from what I learned to live in Berlin when you have to pay taxes, health insurance and rent, so I’m biased whether to go for it or not. Other than that, I discussed with the former editor in chief and he was very dissatisfied with his 4 year experience there, advising me to strongly avoid taking the job. His words were overworked and underpaid. The other way is to go back to my home town, Bucharest, take a job as a PR for an art space which opens in September, continue with my magazine editor in chief job that i have at home and participate in 3 photo shows in the Fall. I am not in my home town now, been switching places to stay for the last 3 weeks a lot and failed to find a job in Barcelona. I took the chance to try to relocate because I had the exhibition and being nearly 30 I said this might be my chance. But I’m stranded and often depressed inside, although I try to connect and meet new people every week. I tried to leave alone, I have no boyfriend and no friends here. I met everyone as I arrived, so maybe I was lucky and these are first world problems, but still for me it’s very hard to decide whether to go home and work that possibily fulfilling job, where I know everybody and everybody knows me, or to take a leap and go to Berlin no matter what. Being in a foreign country is like being stuck in a bubble where I’m not a tourist and not a local either, so it’s very hard for me to grasp the right chance and make a decision.
I need an honest advice, please.
And thank you. (From Barcelona)