I am divorced, and after almost 30 years, have been seeing my first love for a year now who is not yet divorced. We had an 8 year relationship from ages 17 -25, when youth and distance led to us going different ways. Now we are at the point of wanting to move forward with our relationship, but I am wondering about the stigma attached to it beginning before her divorce is final and the effect on kids, friends and family. Those that know seem to be supportive. But her family (husband and two children) do not know of our relationship. I am just struggling with burden of knowing that it began as an inappropriate relationship, and because of that wonder if we will question our feelings at some point.Being Involved in an Inappropriate Relationship
Being Involved in an Inappropriate Relationship
I can certainly appreciate the difficulty of your situation and I do believe your concerns are warranted. As powerful as your feelings are now, thinking ahead is important for all concerned. I would highly recommend that you and she discuss the need to deal directly with her marriage. If it is going to end, then she needs to take the bull by the horns and talk to her husband. If she’s not willing to do this — then you have to ask yourself a deeper question: Is your relationship with her sustainable?
When people have affairs it is typically because they are dissatisfied in their primary relationship. To have something genuine and sustainable with you she will have to come to terms with ending her marriage. Otherwise, it will serve only as a distraction.
Wishing you patience and peace,
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