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Relationship Baggage

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I have been with my girlfriend for about six months now. She tell me that I am what she has been looking for in a relationship. I believed her, I do not hide anything in our relationship. I know how it feels, I even cut off other relationships that I know will be an issue with our growing progress. But she has not and still communicate with them in ways that hurt me to read the txt. She says she has known them for years and have helped her when she was troubled, but to invite sex and communicate it in ways that I should be involved only. it depresses me.

Current one was to the same. She invited him to have a drink, at her place late at night, telling him that she is alone with one kid and that she cam at 10am, and still communicating with a past relationship that left her for another, that she says she only communicate, because the woman that he left her died and she is the only one that has been helping him through the depression, but how they communicate hurts and it seems that she still have feelings for this person while having sex with me and telling me that I am her only one.

I have gotten to bond with her kids, I want to make this work. But she still has communication with peple that she has had sexual friend with bebifits and past relationship that it seems that she still has feeling for.

I should walk away, but it is hard. I am the only driver and the kids have build a bond to me and that I still have feelings for her and thinking that it is just obsticle that we can over come and I am taking it way to serious.

She want to got with me to thearpy to help our relationship, which she brought up herself. So, am looking for help for both of up.

Relationship Baggage

Answered by on -


I agree with you. Anyone who doesn’t honor your needs in the relationship and, in fact, ignores them and does things that hurt you, hasn’t got your best interest at heart. The “Find help” tab at the top of this page will help you find a couples therapist in your area. However, I think the nature of the therapy will be more on how to separate amicably so that you can both go your separate ways.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Relationship Baggage

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Relationship Baggage. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 24 Aug 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.