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I Feel Like My Boyfriend Doesn’t Care about Our Relationship

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I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years and I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. We fight almost everyday over stuff like he spends more time with his friends than me or he doesn’t keep his word. I think he doesn’t care because he’s always picking a fight with me and he’s blaming every fight on me saying I started it like a child. Every time we fight he always leaves and when he comes back he acts like nothing happened, like all the cursing and the hurt feeling were nothing. I try to tell him leaving is not the answer and that if he wants things to get better that we need to talk things through. I’m constantly telling him that and he just does it again. In our relationship when one of us does something wrong we have to apologize. He’s been at fault for so many fights thats he literally said he’s tired of apologizing and doesn’t want to say it anymore. Earlier in our relationship he had been talking to other girls, cheating on me and I still have no idea why I stay with him. Part of me thinks its because I love him and I’ve been with him for so long, and another part of me thinks I wasted all my time with this one guy and I just can’t throw it away now, he met my family he does everything with us, my nephew loves him, every one of my classmates look up to us for staying together throughout high school which is rare. I recently fought with him cuz he had told me he was going to come over cuz I had pulled through a horrible night with his family. He bailed on me and so I didn’t talk to him. He said if I didn’t text him back he would get a twitter or instagram and it bothers me because lots of girls add him and as you can see I don’t trust him. I ignored him and he got an instagram. so that made me furious that I broke up with him yesterday. I’m having trouble coaping with this that I always come running back to him because I miss him, but then again we fight again. I dont know what to do. Please give me advice.

I Feel Like My Boyfriend Doesn’t Care about Our Relationship

Answered by on -

A.

You did the right thing by breaking up with him. The work now is on staying apart. There is not much left in this relationship and as you state your age as 18 you have been with him for a large percentage of your life. I understand that’s a lot of time to have invested, but I wouldn’t keep hoping he will change. You don’t trust him, he will not apologize for his wrong doing, he bails on you, and much of the time you have been with him has been unsatisfactory.

The work is on grieving. Give yourself a chance to truly disconnect. I would start getting support from your friends to help you unhook and figure out how to move on.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Feel Like My Boyfriend Doesn’t Care about Our Relationship

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Feel Like My Boyfriend Doesn’t Care about Our Relationship. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/08/18/i-feel-like-my-boyfriend-doesnt-care-about-our-relationship/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.