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Asocial Stepsons

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I believe both of my two older stepsons (age 26 and 24) are asocial. I believe their father is asocial as well. How can I discuss this with my wife so that they can be evaluated and hopefully treated?

Both are unable to secure employment even though they have college degrees. They graduated in May of 2014 and December of 2014. Both live at home. Both have no friends and are socially challenged, just like their Father who also has no friends.

Thank You.

Asocial Stepsons

Answered by on -


I can imagine the frustration and difficulty that is caused by this. The best approach is to begin with a discussion with your wife of how their behavior impacts on you. Discuss the emotional, financial, social, and familial as it pertains to you. In this way, by using “I” statements about yourself, rather than talking about their problems, keeps the information focused on what you know to be true because it is your experience — and you are the world’s expert on your feelings. This will keep the conversation centered on what you know to be true for you. This will have a better outcome than talking only about their shortcomings.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Asocial Stepsons

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Asocial Stepsons. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.