It’s impossible to provide a diagnosis over the Internet. It would be best to be evaluated in-person, by a mental health professional. It could help you to determine and correct what might be wrong.
Psychosis among people your age is rare. It does happen, often in situations involving abuse or trauma. That might be the case for you or there may be other explanations for your symptoms. For instance, a recent research study found that 24 hours of sleep deprivation can mimic symptoms of psychosis among people without psychotic disorders. Continued sleep deprivation also impairs memory function, the inability to concentrate, and in severe cases, can cause hallucinations and delusions.
You’ve stated that you have a habit of withholding your symptoms from those around you. That is a bad habit that you should work to change. Be honest about your symptoms and ask for help. No one will know what’s wrong if you don’t tell them.
I would suggest asking a trusted and responsible adult to assist you in seeking mental health treatment. Your parents might be able to help. Another option is the school guidance counselor. The guidance counselor can speak to your parents about your seeking treatment. Do whatever is necessary to seek help. Keeping secrets only prolongs your suffering. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle