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My Mother Doesn’t Treat Me Like She Loves Me

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My mother is always telling me she hates me and I was a mistake and she always calls me names, like bitch and dumb shit. She seems to hate on me more than my other siblings (I’m the oldest). She snoops through my stuff at night, picks out my clothes for school, doesn’t let me do afterschool stuff, and she acts like she’s king of the world. She hits me and once when I was younger, she choked me and she always yells and hits me. Whenever she comes home from work, I have to double-check my room to make sure it’s perfect cuz she gets mad at the tiniest things. I’m always anxious and scared around the time she comes home from work because I know she’s either gonna scream or beat me for something small and totally ridiculous. I’ve tried to stand up for myself but it justs makes her more mad. She’s noticed that I’ve become more quiet but she doesn’t really care that much. I hide in my room and try to do my own stuff, but she just yells at me to come downstairs and not to spend too much time in my room. I mean, why would I WANT to come downstairs? What it there to look forwards to besides her beating and yelling at me? Even my siblings are mean to me and call me names as well. I think the only person who cares about the me the most is my father, but it doesn’t actually seem like love. I can’t really explain it. I feel like I’m a waste of life and that I should just leave so I’d be out of their way. I bet nobody would miss me either. I feel unloved and I want to talk to someone about it but I’m really scared. I used to be a cheerful, excited person at school but now I’ve become quiet and shy. And during my period and getting acne she hasn’t even supported me {mom} she’s just told me I look ugly with pimples and when I got my period she just yelled at me and said okay go get a pad stupid don’t show it to me. I’ve lost my self confidence and I feel lost, depressed and unwanted.

My Mother Doesn’t Treat Me Like She Loves Me

Answered by on -

A.

Thank you for reaching out to us. It take courage to do that. Your mother’s behavior is unacceptable. Beating and choking you are not ok. Tell your father you want to see a therapist. If he isn’t willing to take you, tell your counselor at school. You can also call this hotline number 800.621.HOPE (4673) and the people on the other end will help you cope with this. What your mother is doing is something others need to know about. Nothing you have done allows her to beat and choke you. Nothing.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Mother Doesn’t Treat Me Like She Loves Me

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Mother Doesn’t Treat Me Like She Loves Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on September 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/08/09/my-mother-doesnt-treat-me-like-she-loves-me/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.