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How Do You Get Over a Crush from Childhood in Your Adulthood?

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I have held on to feelings for my best friend in elementary school for years now. She was the only one to comfort me when I was feeling down, which was often. It evolved into a crush. But she had to move to Georgia in the fourth grade. I never truly got over it. I believed that I loved her but never got to tell her. She had called me before once, but I never got the number and still never got to tell her how I felt. She was the only one I loved ever since and never had a girlfriend relationship. I believed that it would be unfair for the other person if I can’t love them how they may love me because I’m still hoping that she will come back into my life. I am 20 years old and I know I should move on, but I don’t know how. Every time I thought I have moved on I remember her and it almost moves me to tears.

How Do You Get Over a Crush from Childhood in Your Adulthood?

Answered by on -

A.

In all likelihood, you are in love with a fantasy. Fantasies are exulted, improbable ideals. Fantasies, by definition, are imaginary, not real.

Given her fantasy status in your mind, it’s no wonder you have difficulty moving on. No one could compete with such a perfect ideal.

That relationship began and ended before you were 10 years old. You are in love with a prepubescent girl. That girl no longer exists. Think about how much you’ve changed since the fourth grade. You can be certain that both of you have changed tremendously since that time. If you were to meet her now you might barely recognize her or she you.

Though she’s probably not the person you have fantasized her to be, it might help if you contacted her. Try to get to know her and see if she’s a match for you.

Once you know the truth, you might feel less emotional and find it easier to move on with your life, with or without her. The child that you loved no longer exists. She is just a memory to you and you’re just a memory to her. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

How Do You Get Over a Crush from Childhood in Your Adulthood?

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). How Do You Get Over a Crush from Childhood in Your Adulthood?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 11, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/08/06/how-do-you-get-over-a-crush-from-childhood-in-your-adulthood/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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