In all likelihood, you are in love with a fantasy. Fantasies are exulted, improbable ideals. Fantasies, by definition, are imaginary, not real.
Given her fantasy status in your mind, it’s no wonder you have difficulty moving on. No one could compete with such a perfect ideal.
That relationship began and ended before you were 10 years old. You are in love with a prepubescent girl. That girl no longer exists. Think about how much you’ve changed since the fourth grade. You can be certain that both of you have changed tremendously since that time. If you were to meet her now you might barely recognize her or she you.
Though she’s probably not the person you have fantasized her to be, it might help if you contacted her. Try to get to know her and see if she’s a match for you.
Once you know the truth, you might feel less emotional and find it easier to move on with your life, with or without her. The child that you loved no longer exists. She is just a memory to you and you’re just a memory to her. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle