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I Want to Improve Myself and Control Emotions

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I had very rough teenage years. My parents did not allow me to go out with my friends. They were always worried about I might be abused by some guys. They still think so. They also do not allow my younger sisters to go out with their friends often. In my family, if you do not study hard, you will not be loved. My parents are used to torture my younger sisters since they do not study sincerely as much as I did. I spend my whole life having frightened because of my parents. If I have a time machine, I will go back to my childhood and change myself. I wouldn’t study much so that my parents cannot compare myself with my sisters and they would have a better childhood. Sometimes I want to kill myself because of them, I really do. How can I improve my psychological condition? (From Bangladesh)

I Want to Improve Myself and Control Emotions

Answered by on -

A.

Killing yourself isn’t the answer. Dealing effectively with the anger and resentment for your parents highly conditional love is. Your disappointment in their treatment of you needs to be channeled into self-development. At 25 years of age it is time to seek a more independent life. You did not cause your sisters’ situation — you were a child and did the absolute best you could. It is time now for you to do more independent of your family.

Your status is that of a student in her final year of study. It is time to get support and make a plan. I do not know the university you are attending, but I am certain they have support for students. The closest one to you, the University of Dhaka, for instance, has a health services center. If you are attending there, they can direct you to some counseling and help you plan for your future as you cope with the dynamics of your family.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Want to Improve Myself and Control Emotions

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Want to Improve Myself and Control Emotions. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 26, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/08/02/i-want-ao-improve-myself-and-control-emotions/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.