Your dissatisfaction with life is propelling you to search for something better. This may sound counterintuitive, but that’s a good thing. You’re unwilling to tolerate unhappiness. That is a necessary prerequisite for a happy life.
Your current therapy arrangement does not seem to be meeting your needs. You should either see your therapist more often or make a concerted effort to find the most competent and best therapist in your community.
Begin your search by making a list of five to 10 highly-rated therapists. Call each one and inquire about how they conduct therapy, which problems they have had the most success in solving, how much they charge per hour, and so forth. When you find several with whom you connect with over the phone, go meet them in person. Choose the one with whom you have the strongest connection.
In the meantime, consider group therapy. It could help to stabilize your mood between your one-on-one sessions.
Your letter touched upon some potential thinking errors. For instance, you have achieved success in your career but you downplay your achievements. When someone is depressed, they tend to minimize their successes. You might be guilty of minimization.
Incorrect thinking can lead to incorrect decisions. It’s no small thing. Your thoughts and behavior are correlative. It’s important that your thoughts are consistent with reality so as to avoid making mistakes in life.
One of your biggest complaints is your being tired. I’m not certain if you meant tired of life in a more general sense or if you are quite literally fatigued. In the latter case, medications often cause fatigue. Tiredness increases irritability which affects mood. Medication changes an individual’s personality, even if ever so slightly. Many people have reported that they do not feel quite like themselves when taking medication.
Reading is not an official treatment for depression but there are some great books that just might improve your mindset and help move you in the right direction. Some of my favorites include: The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck; Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss; and Man’s Search for Meaning by Dr. Viktor Frankl.
I have also recently came across a great blog called Barking Up The Wrong Tree by Eric Barker. Some of his work has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Time Magazine, among others. It’s filled with evidence-based insights about happiness. You might want to check it out.
I hope that my advice has helped you in some small way. If your current therapy regimen isn’t working, then search for something better and don’t stop until you are satisfied. Yes, it might take some work but it is well worth your time and effort. The right treatment can make all the difference. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle