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I Want to Be Popular But I’m an Introvert

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I am 21 years old and like to hang out with friends. I want to be popular among my friends and teachers. I like to do stage performance and presentations. But unfortunately I am introvert type and lack of self-confidence. I want to answer all the question my teacher asks but hesitate to do it. Even my relationship with my boyfriend has some effect. Because he is extrovert and popular among his friends. So I kind of jealous of him. How can I be extrovert and increase my confidence level? I want to be a better person. (age 21, from Bangladesh)

I Want to Be Popular But I’m an Introvert

Answered by on -


It is difficult to change something that is a personality trait, such as introversion versus extroversion, but you can learn to be more confident and outgoing. Just like any other skill it takes practice. It sounds like you are comfortable in larger settings when it is less personal, such as performances and presentations, but you need to build confidence in areas that are more intimate and personal.

The best way to feel comfortable around others is to truly just be yourself. Take your focus off what others might think of you and be in the moment. Be genuine and kind. Ask questions and really listen to what people have to say so that you can weave it back into future conversations, which shows you care. Look for ways to expand your interactions and comfort zones through extra-curricular activities, volunteering or joining a social skills group. Take more chances by speaking up in class, even if you aren’t sure of the answer. But again, most importantly, just be yourself and you will be popular to those who really matter.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

I Want to Be Popular But I’m an Introvert

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). I Want to Be Popular But I’m an Introvert. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 23, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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