You list your age as 15, so I think the most immediate way to get help is to talk to your school counselor about what’s going on at home. You may also want to talk to your dad about this, if he can be open and available to you. If either of your parents are willing, let them know you want to go to therapy. The fact that you’ve had suicidal thoughts means that you want to deal with this sooner rather than later. You don’t want to stay stuck in a situation where you are having such difficult thoughts and feelings.