From the U.S.: My girlfriend gets really really upset when I don’t share every detail of my life with her exactly when it is happening. I have been seeing my girlfriend for about 2 years now. She lives in Chicago and I live in the central part of Illinois. Its about a 3 hour drive. Our relationship revolves around communicating through our phones and sometimes we skype when we find time in our busy busy lives. I am back in school trying to finish up my degree, and it takes up a huge part of my time. Between studying and class and homework, I am usually bogged down with that on top of my obligations to life and her.
There was an instance last night, I told her during the day I was going to be busy after work because I had to get ready to come up to the city for a wedding, shop, do laundry, pack and also my lab group was talking about getting together to study for an upcoming test. I told her all these things and we didn’t talk much but I did text her when I got a moment. I got a text about 8 pm from one of the group members ( who happens to be a girl ) that she wanted to meet up and study. I told her I was grabbing my book and heading out because I didn’t want to get home super late because I still had things I had to do.
The study session was very beneficial but I forgot to text my girlfriend and let her know I was doing it. I told her after the fact I was sorry I didn’t text her because I ended up meeting up with a group mate from class to study for the test tomorrow. She didn’t answer.
I woke up the next morning to a massive text from her bashing me, cursing me, saying she was hurt, pointing fingers at me how she does things for me and I do this to her, how I don’t communicate things to her, how my life is always secret. I told her that I actually had told her about me having to meet with a study group for a test, but she said it was unacceptable because I didn’t text her RIGHT THEN and tell her what I was doing.
I don’t understand why I get this treatment. I am a pretty laid back guy and generally don’t start conflict in the relationship, a long distance one is hard enough. I have had some issues with her thinking I am going to leave her for other girls in the past, but she was the one that wanted me to get back into school so I can finish and truly start a career, not just a dead end job. I told her two semesters ago I was going to have to interact with women in study groups, not that I can help it because group work is required in most classes.
She graduated with a bachelors degree so out of all people I assumed she would understand what it takes to get through college. I just don’t know what to do here and I can’t come to a conclusion. I love my girlfriend for a lot of things, but these few details that aren’t so lovable are what I am having an issue about. I know that people aren’t perfect but this has been ongoing for almost the whole relationship. Hopefully you have some insight to make me feel better about the situation. Thank you.