Thanks for writing in and I’m sorry that you were abused as a child and then experienced other traumas as a young adult. I suspect that it is all catching up to you now that you are in a stable, supportive relationship. I’ve seen it happen before — life finally seems to be good and then the past comes creeping in. Symptoms can come out of nowhere it seems.
If you want to save this relationship (and yourself) it is time to consider therapy. Even if you have gone before and thought that you had worked through your traumas, it is worth going again. The impulsivity, insecurity and new uncontrolled behavior are good signs that you are being triggered. The old saying is true that “in order to love someone else, you must first love yourself,” and I would add that in order to trust someone else, you must trust yourself. So be “rational” and go get some help.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts