I don’t have enough information to make sense of how your mother treats you. It’s always sad to me when a parent isn’t able to show love and support to all of her or his children. There may be a secret that influences her behavior. She may have not wanted to have a child so young. She may see something in you that reminds her of someone who gave her pain in the past. She may not even know what it is that puts her on edge with you.
But regardless of the reason, you have suffered about this far too long. You are 53. You have done your best to connect with your mother in more positive ways. I think you can stop working so hard on the project at this point. Love her as best you can for who she is, and stop trying to change her or the relationship. The same for your relationship with your sister. Revisiting the old arguments only annoys them and disappoints you.
Instead, focus your energy on finding and maintaining a group of friends who respect and care about each other and who enjoy spending time together. Such a group can be a family of your own creation. By all means, stay in touch with your biological family but draw your need for nurturing and being nurtured with good friends.
I wish you well.