I know I’m pretty young (only 16) but I believe I may have a personality disorder (these problems are recurring)
– I eat my skin compulsively. I sit for up to an hour just picking off skin and eating it, stopping when I feel sick. I’ve been doing this since I was 4.
– I’m incapable of trust. All of my “best friends” have commented this. Honestly… I don’t know why this is. The best reason I could think of is that I know that they’re not going to do anything to help. I’ve been like this since probably 6 years old. If I do open up to someone, I try to become indifferent about what I told them so it’s not a big deal anymore, and I also draw away from them.
– I’m convinced everyone hates me. I question everything people say, especially “friends”, and plan what I say very carefully in order to not offend anyone. Also since I was 6 years old. If I think a friend dislikes me, I stop liking them and villainize them.
– I’m arrogant yet have no self esteem at all. Probably because I hate myself for how arrogant I am. I hate myself for being fake and only caring about me. I know that I’m not deserving of anything I have because I’m just a fake. Nobody, not even my parents, know the real me. This has been a problem very recently. I know all of the good things about me and am OVERLY confident about them, yet emphasize my bad traits.
– Because of my arrogance, I always try to find a purpose of why I’m here, and have grand fantasies of how I’m going to be important to someone. I hope to be famous, because then I can reinvent this image of myself as likable and have people who care about me. Since I was 6.
– I need to be adored. I’ve always thought of what I’d be like to have a boyfriend who adored me, always. I’ve been told by people that I might even need one.
– I believe people are very easy to manipulate, and that there’s a formula to make people like you. Except I still fail at being likable to 90% of my class because I come off as awkward. Very recent discovery.