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I Feel Betrayed. Am I Correct Feeling this Way?

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So I had pretty rough childhood with my Physically and Emotionally abusive step-father. I told my mother but she just ignored me and went on pretending everything was normal. As I grew older I grew more rebellious as teens tend to do and decided I had had enough of living in fear every single day in my own house. So I ran away (I was gone for a total of 15 hours and I hung out at a local mall. It was geared toward making a point then permanently leaving). My mother understandably shocked at this from her otherwise well behaved son claimed she would divorce him. Recently, she has retracted this and continues her relationship with him. I just feel let down and like I don’t matter to her anymore. Like I’m just a burden to this whole family and like it’s suppose to be my fault. I feel I should note that I’m 18 and off to college soon which is funded by my mother. so I’m in a little bit a precarious position with “rocking the boat so to speak” about this. On the plus side I will be getting far away from the two of them but I must also worry about what I’m going to do after College. (age 18, from US)

I Feel Betrayed. Am I Correct Feeling this Way?

Answered by on -


I’m sorry that you had to experience abuse from your stepfather while growing up and I’m sorry that your mother chose to stand by him despite your complaints, a phenomenon I unfortunately see often. You have a right to feel betrayed and disappointed.

However, as you state, you are now a legal adult who is about to leave for college and embark upon your own life. Just as your mother is an adult and can choose who she is in a relationship with.

You have healing to do and I hope that you will utilize the student counseling center once you are in college. You cannot control your mother’s choices but you can choose to heal, keep a healthy distance and maybe someday forgive.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

I Feel Betrayed. Am I Correct Feeling this Way?

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). I Feel Betrayed. Am I Correct Feeling this Way?. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.