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Why Do I Have Periods of Extreme Sadness which Lead to Picking Fights?

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So I will be fine, better than fine, happy even and then one day without anything happening I will hit a wall and fall into extreme sadness. Only time cures it. I contemplate killing myself. When this happens I am impossible to talk to, picking fights with everyone. Friends, family, if I am in a relationship at the time even they avoid me. It makes me more miserable. I have self-harmed in the past but I haven’t done it for years. I don’t know how to fix it, when I come out of my spell I feel dazed, I am apologizing to people close to me for days. I want it to stop but I have no idea how to start fixing it. I have gone to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with “mild depression” that according to my doctor doesn’t need medication. These periods happen two or three times a month normally lasting three or four days. Please help me.

Why Do I Have Periods of Extreme Sadness which Lead to Picking Fights?

Answered by on -


A thorough investigation is needed into what precedes your episodes of extreme sadness. You have described them being random but that’s unlikely. Some event, mood or emotion precedes them and knowing what that is will help to determine what is wrong and how to fix it.

This is best done with the assistance of a therapist. You have consulted a psychiatrist but seemingly not a talk therapist. It is often the case that psychological problems require both medication and talk therapy.

Psychotherapy involves the intellectual analysis of thoughts and emotions for the purpose of identifying problems that are causing distress in one’s life. The therapist works with you to solve problems and teach you new skills to cope with the evitable problems of life. Psychotherapy could help to determine what’s causing your episodes. I would highly recommend it.

You have received one diagnosis. When something is important it is common practice to seek a second opinion. Whenever there’s uncertainty about a diagnosis or a condition, a second opinion can be useful.

Ask your primary care doctor for a referral to a therapist. You also ask your friends and family for a referral or you can consult one of the various directories on the Internet. Psych Central has a therapist directory as does Psychology Today.

In the meantime, start a journal. Track daily events and moods. It could help you and your therapist identify what’s causing these episodes. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Why Do I Have Periods of Extreme Sadness which Lead to Picking Fights?

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Why Do I Have Periods of Extreme Sadness which Lead to Picking Fights?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 25, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 4 Jul 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.