You are betraying your husband by having an affair. On a daily basis, you are deceiving him. Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Without trust, a relationship will die. Perhaps yours already has.
People who engage in infidelity often think it’s better to not reveal the affair to their partner. They say it’s because they want to protect them from the pain of betrayal. The emotional toll of infidelity can be immense and for some, traumatic but that should have been considered before cheating.
According to your letter, it’s only a matter of time before you leave your husband. You are making plans to leave him as soon as you can. You cannot continue your affair without it eventually affecting your family, especially if you’re planning to break up your marriage.
The most honorable thing you can do right now is tell your husband the truth. Yes, it will be difficult but it will give him time to plan for his future. His whole life will be changing dramatically.
You might want to consult a counselor who can advise you about how to proceed. Ultimately, if you follow through with your plans, this affair will lead to the breakup of your family. It will likely be very difficult for all parties involved. Counseling might be needed now more than ever. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle