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Female Worker Is in Love with My Husband

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My husband hired a female worker on January 19, 2015, and admitted to him via text that she is in love with him. She is aware that he is married with kids, yet she is still trying to pursue him. Sadly, my husband seems to like it when she flirts with him, causing him to flirt back.

He has shut himself out of our marriage since last year, but even more so since he hired the worker. He doesn’t offer any affection anymore, no hugs, no kisses, he doesn’t even say and/or show that he loves me anymore. He is no longer vocal when we get intimate, which is now only once in a blue moon. He used to say I needn’t worry about a third party because he said he loved me and was in love with me and no one else but it seems like I’m no longer a priority in his life. We’re literally together for only 3-4 hours a day (excluding when we’re asleep).

When we first met, it was like we had known each other forever. Up to this day, I feel that he IS my soulmate, I feel that this hurt is worth fighting for and I pray that maybe this “thing” they have is temporary.

We used to be friends and lovers, talking every day, we were very close, he would always hug and kiss me for no reason and now, it’s like there needs to be a reason for these to be given. And yes, my husband is hardheaded and not treating me with the dignity and respect I deserve and needs an “attitude adjustment”.

Please heal my broken heart…it’s been broken twice before, I don’t want this to be the third.

Female Worker Is in Love with My Husband

Answered by on -


It is time for you to fight for what you want and be willing to let go. As you said this has happened in the past, and I wouldn’t wait for it to happen again. Let your husband know his behavior and flirting is a deal-breaker, and that you want to deal with it sooner rather than later. It is important for you to understand you’ve contributed to the problems in the marriage and offer to go together for couple counseling. Stand your ground. Explain that if he isn’t willing to go — you will take that as an indication that he isn’t willing to fight for the marriage. In that case, make an appointment with an individual counselor and start preparing for your next plan of action.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Female Worker Is in Love with My Husband

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Female Worker Is in Love with My Husband. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 23, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 30 Jun 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.