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Is My Partner a Narcissist?

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From New Zealand: I think my partner may have NPD. He as huge control issues over me and always needs to feel superior to everyone he knows, including me. He feels the need to have the best car he possibly can, have the most expensive clothes etc. He also expects me to step up to his expectations like quit smoking because its degrading for him to have a girlfriend who smokes.

But his control is extremely out of control and I think is related to his self-esteem problems. He has no trust in me, he will stalk my cellphone with GPS to know where I am at all times, and he will block contacts on my phone without my knowledge.

I have never given him a reason to not trust me, so I assume it must be because he is insecure and feels I will leave him. He has never had any abusive past relationships or been cheated on… He also continually tells me that I am “ungrateful and unappreciative” of him, and that I always prioritise my friends over him.. I’m not aloud to see or talk to my friends unless I am at work..

Is My Partner a Narcissist?

Answered by on -

A.

I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of a letter, of course. What I can do is ask you why you are staying with this man. However sweet he may be in other ways, the control he is exercising on your life is totally unreasonable. Regardless of the cause, his behavior is going to erode your self-esteem and your love. Unless he is willing to get into therapy and commit to it, I don’t see this getting better. In fact, it is likely to become worse. For your mental health (and maybe even your safety), I think you should let this guy go. Make yourself available to someone who loves you without needing to control you.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Is My Partner a Narcissist?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Is My Partner a Narcissist?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/06/28/is-my-partner-a-narcissist/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.