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Can’t Have a Relationship with My Bipolar Daughter

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I was married to a man with bipolar for 30 years. It was a verbal, mental and sometimes physical abusive relationship. From this 30 year marriage, I now have a 33 year old daughter who was diagnosed with Bipolar also. I just can’t get along with her. I think she just hates me. I was not an abusive mother. I tried so hard to protect her from her father’s abuse. I thought she would be close to me but it is the other way around. She is very close to her father’s family. Her father passed away 5 years ago. I have tried so hard to have a relationship with my daughter and her children. She is so angry with me. It always for some reason or other. I am not saying I am perfect in anyway. I hate to fight and she is always starting one with me. Just need some help on how to deal with this situation. She makes it very hard to see my grandchildren. (age 62, from US)

Can’t Have a Relationship with My Bipolar Daughter

Answered by on -


I’m sorry about this difficult situation that you have to deal with. It is unfortunate that your daughter pushes you away, especially since this also affects your relationship with your grandchildren. If you have reached out to her repeatedly and it and isn’t improving, I think that the best thing you can do is seek support for yourself. If you initiate individual counseling to help you deal with the situation and she sees that you are willing to put that much effort into improving your relationship with her, maybe she will eventually join you for a few sessions. If not, you at least have a supportive place to work through your own feelings. It might also be helpful to get involved with National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) for information and support on loving someone who has Bipolar Disorder.

I would also encourage you to never give up on having a relationship with your grandchildren, even if you can’t mend things with your daughter. At some point they will be old enough to make their own decisions and if they have memories of you always being a positive person in their life, even if they don’t see you often, they will seek you out later.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

Can’t Have a Relationship with My Bipolar Daughter

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). Can’t Have a Relationship with My Bipolar Daughter. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 23, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 27 Jun 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.