I’ve had social anxiety as long as I can remember, and I can remember back to pre-school. I did not get diagnosed until I was 17. A couple years before, I started experiencing moments in time where I felt like I wasn’t in reality. I felt as if my arms did not belong to me and that I was looking through someone else’s eyes. My surroundings would seem non-existent. I never told my therapist of these incidents.
I saw my therapist for nine months then quit and got off the medication she’d recommended. I felt I wasn’t getting what I needed from the therapy and I felt the drug did more harm than good. In college I learned techniques that worked well for me to start combating the social anxiety and although I do not have a job yet, i’m working towards it and at this moment feel confident I can be successful.
The problems started around my nineteenth birthday. I’ve always been moody, but I felt like I could switch between intense rage, depression, anxiety, and happiness all within a few minutes or a few hours in one day. I attributed these symptoms to my anxiety because I always attribute things to my anxiety. In my depression I harm myself or plan a suicide attempt. In my anger I run people off the road or tear apart the house, in my anxiety I can’t be around anyone, and when I’m “happy” nothing can phase me; I can talk freely to people without my social anxiety bothering me, I apply to a bunch of jobs and can finish chapters of homework within a few hours. ‘
Recently I’ve had trouble with what I consider internal voices. I don’t feel like it’s myself talking to me even those it’s internal. They’re often judgmental and derogatory, things I wouldn’t want to say in this post. My question is whether or not these symptoms seem like they can be attributed to a co-morbid disorder or if they too can be attributed to anxiety and depression? I want to return to therapy but am apprehensive of diagnosis.