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Not Sure I’m in Love with My Husband Anymore

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I am not sure if I am in love with my husband anymore! I love him but I am not sure if I am still in love with him. Lately all we have been doing is fighting and most of it is over money! I feel unheard in our relationship and when I try to be heard it always ends up in a argument so I just shut down and don’t say anything at all. I feel completely un-respected and un-appreciated. I feel like he turns all of our problems back on me no matter what they are like he isn’t willing to admit that the debt is a two way street. He is the one who manages the money and most of the time I have no idea where it goes although I know he pays the bills. He says the reason we are so broke is because I smoke but so does he, he even started smoking after he had been quit. I tell him all the time that I will try to quit but I can’t because I stay so nervous. From the time I wake up I wonder how bad we are going to argue and what I should or shouldn’t say because I don’t want to bring on an argument. I am scared of saying anything to him because I don’t know what will upset him and cause him to go off. He apologizes all the time and I forgive him but I think it is a little bit because I don’t want to divorce so I refuse to give up. I asked him if he still loves me or if he wants a divorce and he says no he don’t, but I am not sure if he does or not. I just can’t take it any more. I feel like within five minutes out of him apologizing for his actions he has been set off somehow, I don’t even know what I did. I try to put my opinion in sometimes, but I guess he thinks I am stupid. I am only 25 years old and within the past three years my hair has almost turned completely grey and my face has aged 10 years from all the stress. I want to help him manage our money and stuff but he asks for my help and then don’t like the way I have it figured. I am just not sure if I should move on or what? We used to be best friends but I feel like I can’t even talk to him anymore. I know for a fact that there hasn’t been any cheating issues or anything but I just feel emotionally out of touch. We are still intimate and everything but sometimes I feel like I am forcing myself to do it because I am so emotionally drained from one day to the next. I can’t remember the last time we went a day without having an argument. I really think he thinks I am stupid and I am not. I am not sure if I should move on or not? It breaks my heart to think of loosing him but I don’t know how much more I can take.

Not Sure I’m in Love with My Husband Anymore

Answered by on -

A.

It is time for couples counseling. In therapy money is emotional currency. The “find help” tab at the top of this page will help you find someone nearby. There is also this organization. If your husband refuses to go, I would go for individual counseling. If he’s not willing to work towards saving the relationship, then work on the support you need on your own.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Not Sure I’m in Love with My Husband Anymore

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Not Sure I’m in Love with My Husband Anymore. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/06/25/not-sure-im-in-love-with-my-husband-anymore/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.