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I Like Watching People Die & Have Thoughts of Killing People

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I have been watching lot of psychopath series lately, and only after that I came to know more about psychopathic tendencies. I could relate them to myself very often. I am quite anti-social so I kind of like to be alone. I never used to feel this way before, but now, after watching those series, I have a huge knife which has no work in kitchen, I think about killing people, the thrill of it, and also I would like to get away with that. I have planned a lot about getting away with a perfect murder, on my laptop. Though I haven’t actually done any crime yet, but few nights earlier I killed the dog, which lived at the garage near my house, that frightened me and chased me twice before. My friends call me vampire because I rarely go out (only to smoke) and have my curtains on 24/7. Because of all these effects I took the psychopathy test and score top region of the middle range of scores. After those tests I actually realized I haven’t been an emotional person long before I started watching psychopathic series. It was a week earlier when I had a fight with my father I wanted to kill him, I even took the knife off the shelf but thought I would be in trouble, because I had learnt never to kill a person we know, because we will get under prime suspect. After I couldn’t kill him I just went inside my room and started slapping myself until my hands didn’t work well… what am i? AM i a PSYCHOPATH?? or is it just those series playing tricks with my mind because I have cried 5 or 6 times that I recall of (I meant after I was a grown guy maybe 16-20). Please guide me if i am misguided. Also I took your ADHD test and scored 51. Could I be a psychopath as well as a adhd patient? I don’t know what to think.

I Like Watching People Die & Have Thoughts of Killing People

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It’s impossible to provide a diagnosis over the Internet. If you scored high on those tests, then you might have those disorders. Diagnoses are typically provided after an individual has been evaluated, in-person, by a mental health professional. You might receive clarity about a diagnosis if you were to be evaluated.

You equate “antisocial” with being alone. In the context of psychopathy, antisocial means something different than being alone. Antisocial refers to antisocial personality disorder, which is a clinical diagnosis given to people who demonstrate traits of psychopathy.

Traits of psychopathy include: manipulation, disregard for the rights of others, a lack of feeling remorse or guilt, disregard for laws and social norms, glibness, and using violence to control others.

The fact that you killed a dog is worrisome. Most people would never kill any animal unless they were forced to, under life-and-death circumstances. Some theories suggest that people who kill animals “graduate” to people.

It’s also worrisome that you seriously contemplated killing your father. Thankfully, you decided against it, but you may not always have that level of control. You should seek help.

In the meantime, you should stop viewing violent videos. They could be having a negative impact on you. Instead watch videos about positive things, such as meditation, relaxation, random acts of kindness — essentially anything that is nonviolent and calming in nature.

You should also find healthy outlets to express your strong feelings. This can include exercise or anything that would allow you to expend negative energy. It might stop you from engaging in acts of violence.

I am not recommending the aforementioned ideas in lieu of treatment but because it is my understanding that in Nepal, where you live, access to mental health treatment is limited. If access to treatment is available, then you should seek help from a mental health professional. Treatment can help you control your behavior.

Finally, consider what your life would be like if you were imprisoned for murder. Prisons in Nepal are overcrowded and the conditions are extremely poor and inhumane. According to recent news reports,¬†they don’t even meet the basic safety standards. The living environments are unhealthy and many prisoners commonly suffer with mental health problems and infectious diseases. There is no rehabilitation. A human rights group recently reported on a jail in Nepal that they deemed “a torture house.” They found 520 inmates “packed like sardines” in a space meant for only 60 people. Inmates did not even have enough room to stretch their legs to sleep, and 520 inmates shared seven toilets.

Right now you are free. You can go where you want and do what you want but if you decide to kill you will be locked away, in a cage, possibly for the rest of your life. You would have no freedom, no happiness and your life would be utter misery. You would wish that you had made a better choice. It’s not too late. Make the better choice; you are the only one who can make that decision. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I Like Watching People Die & Have Thoughts of Killing People

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). I Like Watching People Die & Have Thoughts of Killing People. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 6, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 23 Jun 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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