Getting help should have made the situation better, not worse. Understandably, you’re stressed because of your partners’ problems.
You need to protect your own mental health. Your own mental health needs to be a priority.
Drinking and disappearing are avoidance tactics. You can run from your problems but only for so long. They will catch up with you. It’s better to treat them now rather than later, when they are worse and more complicated.
You should consult a mental health professional. Therapy could be tremendously helpful for you. It can provide guidance for your relationship and teach you how to appropriately deal with your problems. It is the best solution.
Drinking and disappearing might temporarily anesthetize your pain, but ultimately they will lead to more problems. Take control by seeking help. You don’t have to do it alone. Let trained professionals assist you. That’s their job.
If you continue to avoid these problems, your life will almost certainly suffer and that’s precisely what you are trying to avoid. You are trying to help your partner but you need to find a professional who can help you to help your partner. Obviously, you are suffering and suffering greatly. There is a limit to what you are physically and mentally able to do. You cannot exceed those limits, except in short bursts. A professional can help you to learn your limits. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle