You mentioned your fear that a restraining order, might “send him over the edge.” That is unlikely. The police are her best allies. An individual attempting to gain entry into her home is a serious matter. It is also an arrestable offense. She should call the police.
The police handle these kinds of matters on a regular basis. They are trained to deal with these issues. They are in the best position to advise your daughter about what to do and may be able to resolve it for her.
In the meantime, she may want to temporarily relocate. Perhaps she could stay with a family member or a friend until she can ensure her safety. Her being away from him might calm down the situation.
If it continues to be a problem and the police aren’t helping, then she might consider moving. It might be inconvenient but safety trumps all else. Let me repeat that. There is nothing more important than her safety.
Finally, most people with serious mental illnesses are not dangerous. People who are the most dangerous tend to be on drugs and have out of control anger problems. His being delusional is an added concern because it means that he has lost touch with reality. That’s why it’s important that she contact the police and asks for their advice about how to handle this matter. If he is a danger to himself or to others, the police can intervene and take him to a hospital for treatment or arrest him, if necessary. I hope these ideas are helpful. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle