The complications of this relationship seem insurmountable. With so many starts and stops and sorted twists and turns I think the real question isn’t how to diagnose her — but rather, why are you in this relationship?
I think before you Try to solve this puzzle consider what’s already happened: you’ve been told one thing and she’s done another; she went back to her ex for reasons that don’t quite make sense; she seems to have a dissociated personality; AND you have no idea where you stand in the relationship. Add to this the fact that she is married and you are left with a relationship that is tentative, unstable, and unsatisfying. Rather than try to figure her out, I would encourage you to move on and find someone less chaotic.