Regarding your anger, you may be impatient. At its fundamental core, impatience is the inability to perceive reality clearly.
What’s most important is managing the emotional reaction that accompanies impatience. It’s irrational to be angry about something you can’t change. When you fully understand that fact, you will have healthier emotional reactions or no emotional reaction at all.
For instance, sitting in traffic is a time when many people experience impatience. Traffic is always irritating but especially so when you have to be somewhere at a certain time. No matter how angry you become, how long you sit there will not change. You will still have to sit in traffic for as long as it takes, not one second less.
Anger about a traffic jam is irrational and only serves to increase your stress level. A much healthier reaction would be tuning into your favorite radio station or news talk show or book on tape and enjoying the mandatory, inescapable delay.
No one’s happy to be stuck in traffic but it is one of the many things you have no power to change; don’t worry about the things you cannot change.
You might find the serenity prayer used in Alcoholics Anonymous quite instructional: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Regarding creativity and inspiration, your expectations might be unrealistic. Don’t wait for inspiration to do something you want to do. Just do it. In doing something creative, that, in and of itself, can be inspirational.
Your main issues seem to involve emotional instability and unrealistic expectations. These are correctable with counseling. A therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) would probably be most appropriate. The heart of CBT is examining the connection between thoughts, feelings and dysfunctional behaviors. It could help you a great deal. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle