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I Am in an Extramarital Relationship

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From a young man in India: Hi. I am married from last 4 years. Before my marriage I was in very deep relationship with another girl. We have tried to get married but because of the caste issues we couldn’t get married. At that time only I have taken decision to get married in other relation as her family was not at all ready to do this thing.

After my marriage I forced her too to get marry but she done it after 2 years from my marriage. I am blessed with one baby girl 4 months old now. And she has no kid yet. In fact she was not in sexual relationship with her husband. But now our patience are over, we can’t live with each other. I don’t know how I should handle this situation.

At the same time, my current marriage relationship is also not good. My wife does arguments for each and every step I take. I am getting irritated because of her such behavior.

PLEASE SUGGEST

I Am in an Extramarital Relationship

Answered by on -

A.

Since you have brought a child into the world, I suggest you work hard at making your marriage work. It doesn’t surprise me that your relationship with your wife isn’t good. She probably senses that you are not committed to her. She is probably both angry and frightened that you will leave her and your daughter. She argues out of her unhappiness.

Stop thinking about the other woman. Let her get on with her life. Get on with yours. Be the best husband you can be, and see how your wife responds. Don’t argue when she is upset with you. Instead, just ask her what you can do to help her be happier. That doesn’t mean you should accept abuse. It does mean that you look beyond the critical comments to her unhappiness and try to respond to that.

Give it time. It will take time and effort on your part to make your marriage a good one. But it is worth making the effort.

All three of you: You, your wife, and especially your little girl deserve to have a peaceful and happy family life. If you can’t make it work, you will be able to separate knowing that you did the honorable thing and tried your best.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Am in an Extramarital Relationship

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Am in an Extramarital Relationship. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/06/02/i-am-in-an-extramarital-relationship/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.