Feelings are not facts. You might feel that you are not making progress towards your goals but being in school is making progress. You can’t earn a four-year degree in less than four years. It takes as long as it takes. A college degree is no longer a stepping stone; it’s has become a necessity for most jobs.
Without a college degree you will likely earn considerably less money in your lifetime and it will be much more difficult to get a job. Georgetown University, according to their report The College Payoff, found that individuals with bachelor’s degrees earn about $2.27 million over their lifetime, compared to $1.30 million with a high school diploma. That means you could earn roughly about $1 million more in your lifetime just by earning a bachelor’s degree and more if you receive a masters, doctoral or professional degree.
Lack of motivation is part of your dilemma; however, the heart of the problem seems to be your not being in a relationship. The fact that you don’t have a relationship is making it difficult for you to see the purpose of college.
At 19, you only just became an adult. This is the time when people begin searching for a life partner. By that standard, you are where you should be.
Just because a romance hasn’t developed doesn’t mean that it won’t. You’re still very young. Even if you were to meet someone with whom you developed a relationship, it’s unlikely that you would marry that person. People often date many people before they choose someone to marry.
There are many women looking for someone just like you but you must be patient. In the meantime, develop yourself and your mind. The desire for love is natural but as it stands, your happiness and success in life is entirely dependent upon being in a relationship. In practical terms, this means that some unknown stranger holds the key to your happiness. For obvious reasons, that is a terrifying prospect. Psychologically healthy people don’t need others to make them happy.
Nearly all colleges offer free counseling to their students. You could benefit from counseling. It would help you stay focused on finishing school, avoid unrealistic thinking and seeing reality clearly. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle