Hi. I wanted to know if there could be something wrong with me, and if so, what could be causing it. For quite a while now I have been experiencing extremely intense mood swings and identity shifts that only last for a very short period of time. One minute I can feel suicidal, the next I feel euphoric, the next I am bursting with energy, the next I am rage full, and the next I feel like a rational human being. However, I have found that when I’m in these euphoric, energetic moods I can become extremely paranoid if triggered. The other night I slept over at my friend’s house in one of these moods, and the voices inside of my head said that if I didn’t throw my phone at the wall, something horrible would happen. So I struggled with it for a while, and then finally threw my phone at the wall. All my friends who were trying to go to sleep woke up. These voices are not audible they are just two voices that seem to be there and tell me to do things, but they contradict one another all the time, and often I can’t figure out who to trust. I’ve felt pretty stable for a little over a week now, except for last night when I thought that my mother was trying to poison me (lately I’ve been feeling more and more that my parents are trying to kill me). I had a small panic attack and then I got over it. I also started planning out how to kill my friend, but then changed my mind. I become very angry and murderous at times but still seem to have a capacity for intense empathy for others. The confusing thing is, whenever I switch back into my rational mode I view my past actions as ridiculous and try to forget about them. Rational mode can last for a week or so, maybe longer, and then I go back headlong into a tailspin and let everything fall apart. I know that I am not schizophrenic because these voices are not audible and I still have a pretty good grip on reality. I also know that it is not bipolar disorder because the moods change far too quickly. I am very confused, and would appreciate a little guidance. Thank you in advance!Confused about My Intense Mood Swings, Rage and Paranoia
Confused about My Intense Mood Swings, Rage and Paranoia
I am so sorry that you were struggling with these symptoms, and very glad you took the time to write us here at Psych Central.
The intensity of your reactions and the volatility of your thoughts suggest evaluation by a psychiatrist or a psychiatric mental health nurse-practitioner. The forceful and rapid mood swings combined with the internal voices and commands indicates you should make this appointment sooner rather than later. A psychiatrist or a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner would be in a better position to know if there is a medical concern underlying the symptoms. He or she would also be able to prescribe medicine if it is needed.