At the age of 17 i was an alcoholic and i smoked until i sat down one day and stopped. i moved and never drank/smoked again. i became homeless so in order to avoid the state taking my child i told his father to take care of him. i became abusive toward a partner because of tiny things. we broke up and i started to fix my life i was constantly in and out of the er because i would be so faint at work . i was told i might be suffering form panic attacks anxiety attacks. after a while i constantly thought about my ex (my abuse victim) after working on it for over 6 months i reached out to my ex. the relationship started up again and was rough but the abuse stopped. finally things started to go better!we got married i got pregnate almost immediately. my family told me he wouldn’t show up to the court house. that he would run.i love him but he is never home he works hard for me and the baby im scared to leave the house. i can stay indoors for weeks at a time if i could. i avoid people at all cost. i cant shake the feeling that im being watched/followed. at the hospital after the birth i had a huge breakdown. a doctor lied to a social worker and told her i live in a shelter. they wouldn’t let me leave with my baby! i begged her to tell me who had accused me of this. i showed proof of my home situation. that my child would be safe. this was the first time i wanted to hurt someone. she told me who it was and i just saw my hand around her neck. my partner was baffled that someone would do this.but he said everything would be ok. he held my hand and that ugly voice got quieter. this woman put in the paperwork that i was to be watched i wont lie i have heard the voice tell me to hurt people myself but i reject anything against the baby.the baby take my mind away from the ugly yet as much as i work on my problems i cant seem to shake my ugly feelings. i dont want to lose my baby.Can I Get Better Without Losing My Family?
Can I Get Better Without Losing My Family?
I’m sorry that you have been experiencing these problems. It’s important that you know that mental health professionals can help you. Your partner has helped you on several occasions. It’s good that he can help but he can’t be there all the time. As you noted, he works and you are often left to care for your child alone.
In addition to having a new baby and hearing “ugly” voices, you have severe anxiety. It’s so bad that you do not want to leave your home. You need help.
It’s particularly important that you treat these problems because of your new baby. Your baby needs you, as his or her primary caregiver, to be emotional stable. If you’re anxious and afraid, so too might your baby.
Don’t wait for these problems to go away on their own. Seek professional help. Mental health professionals receive specific training to deal with the very problems with which you are struggling. People can get better with therapy and medication and so can you.
Ask the social worker for a referral to mental health treatment. Child protective services is much more likely to let you keep your baby if you are proactively seeking help. Some people might not think so but child protective service workers, want to keep families together. Sometimes they have to take the children away from their parents in order to protect them but their goal is always reunification. Proactively seeking mental health treatment significantly increases the likelihood of keeping your family together. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle