I’m a 33 yr. old widow (suicide) and I recently separated from my partner of 3 yrs. and began dating. One of the men I dated for a few mo., and I just “broke up” a few days ago and I’m having a hard time accepting this. I contact him constantly, I think about “us” all the time and I feel that I have an overall pattern of difficulty with acceptance and moving forward, as well as a desire for ownership (not wanting to “let go” of people – even they are not good for me).
Even if I date new people, I still have problems moving on from old relationships and will try to reconcile and have multiple “secret” relationships at once, just on case one of them fails.Inability to Move on from Relationships
Inability to Move on from Relationships
Your descriptions point toward a struggle with intimate relationships, and it is hard to know if this is solely the result of losing your husband the way you did — or if there are other reasons. In any case, I would highly recommend working with a therapist to explore these patterns. Understanding what causes this will be a great help in correcting it. If it is about your husband’s death then you may need to explore grieving his loss. If it is your family of origin, then you can learn about the dynamics that took place earlier in your life.