Your fantasies all involve your becoming more powerful; a force to be reckoned with. Many people have fantasies about being more powerful. Often because they do not have enough power in their own life or they have been abused or bullied. In both conditions, being abused or bullied, the victim suffers the abuse because they lack the power to stop it. If they could say the magic word and the abuse would stop, they would say it. If they could suddenly shape shift and become an 800-pound bear, they would do so and thus end the abuse they are suffering. Since victims do not have magic words or the ability to shape shift, they are left only with their fantasies.
Is this why you have the fantasies and urges that you possess? I certainly do not know. There are of course many other reasons for the type of urges and fantasies that you are having, I have just given you the most common one. Certainly, there can be other causes but you would need to work in person with a therapist to determine the origins of your fantasies and urges.
These types of fantasies and urges are more common than you might imagine and most assuredly would not resolve in your being locked away. If you were to tell a therapist about your violent and cannibalistic urges, these alone would not result in involuntary commitment. If you were to tell you therapist about your urges and the secret room that you built beneath your garage floor, filled with ropes and chains and torture equipment, and surveillance footage of your intended victim, you would likely end up being involuntarily committed.
And that is exactly, what you should want. The purpose of involuntary commitment is to protect you as well as other people. Carrying out any of your fantasies would certainly destroy your life. Carrying out your fantasies could result in your being killed or suffering locked away in a violent prison system, every moment of every day until your heart stops beating. Not only would your life, as you know it, be taken from you but prison itself is a torture. It is violent, degrading and inhumane.
Involuntary commitment is meant to protect you and to protect those around you. The involuntary commitment is not a punishment. It is not violent, it is not inhumane, it is not degrading.
It is treatment. It is an attempt to save your life. It is an attempt to use the greatest advances in the field of mental health, to cure you.
If you can say “I don’t need committed because in reality there is absolutely no chance that I would do any of these things, they are purely fantasy” then you do not need involuntary commitment and no therapist would suggest involuntary commitment.
If you can say “you know, I think I just might do it. I have a real hard time right now stopping myself sometimes.” Then commitment, voluntary or involuntary, is something that you should welcome because it will protect you and save your life. Yes, it will protect others as well but most importantly it will protect you from you.
I hope that I’ve been of some assistance to you. You should make an appointment with a therapist, it might make you feel much better.
Dr. Kristina Randle