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I Can’t Get Close to Anyone

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I can’t get close to anyone, I can’t feel, I can’t make friends or i just don’t want to, i feel the need to be alone. I’m not shy at all, I’m a very confident person I can talk to anyone in fact I don’t even hesitate to talk with strangers at all. and yes I’m a good person at heart i’m not selfish yet I can’t get close to anyone sometimes I feel like there’s an invisible wall around me that I can’t let anyone close. mostly people like me they are inspired by me they want to get close but each time I just push them away even sometimes when I really like them, but I don’t feel. What’s wrong with me?

I Can’t Get Close to Anyone

Answered by on -


I appreciate you sharing your problems with intimacy with us here at Psych Central. It seems as if this reaction has been part of your personality make-up for a long time. I have three suggestions, and depending on where you think you could jump in, you can take advantage of one, two — or all of them.

First, I would find the therapist trained in cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT. This form of therapy — when done individually — can be very effective in helping you learn how to challenge your thinking. Anticipating your own reactions, combined with the consequences, have developed a thinking pattern. A CBT trained therapist can help you undo this.

The second recommendation I have is to immerse yourself in a class where you’re learning something new you’re interested in. Learning something new — with new people gives you the advantage of interacting and connecting, but all under the umbrella of developing a new skill. This can be a way for you to meet new people in a safe environment with a common goal. This often helps.

Finally, the most direct way to deal with this is in group therapy. It might take you a while to find a group therapist, but a group does two things simultaneously. First is a direct challenge to your inhibition, and secondly the group can support and help your transformation.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Can’t Get Close to Anyone

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Can’t Get Close to Anyone. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 29, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 27 May 2015)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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