From UK: Hi, I hope you might be able to give me some advice. I’ve never had a problem making friends, although I’ve always been selective about who I let get close to me. I am not someone with huge friendship groups though I have lots of individual friends. I do have a group of “best friends” that I met at uni 10 years ago, 3 of whom I am closest too and have stayed in touch.
I would say over the last 2 years I’ve become more and more withdrawn from them. Due to the type of friendships I have with these people, the things we went through together and our closeness in the past, its not their giving up on me I worry about. Its the fact that I get phone calls from them and other friends & ignore them, I even get angry that they call me! I constantly make excuses for not answering the phone or not going to visit them. Mostly i’m not busy, I just don’t want to talk. However, when in a social situation with them I’m engaged and contributing, I would just rather not be there.
I have struggled a lot with S/H from age 14 . Most of my closest friends knew of this in the past, though it wasn’t something I allowed to be addressed and as I have matured i’ve got a lot better at sustaining the personality type of someone no one would suspect of having a problem like that. I’ve never been to a Dr or spoken to anyone professionally as I am secretive and I’m ashamed. When it first started, I stupidly managed to self induce a phobia of doctors as a way of avoiding them, thinking I would get locked up if a Dr found out. (S/H much less common or talked about when I was at school)
I’ve worked hard to overcome my urges for the past few years, and have only ‘fallen off the wagon’ a handful of times. Now i’m worried about my new(ish) need for complete isolation and this weird feeling of annoyance towards friends. clearly I have changed and not them, they’re good friends to me, with problems of their own they need to talk through. why am I not interested any more? I’ve been up to 3 months of not seeing or speaking to anyone unless I have to at work!