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I Cannot Control Myself after Loss of Father

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I’ve been having issues lately. My Father Died 5 years ago and since then I have no interest whatsoever in studies. I do not like to go to school at all, I tell my mother that I am ill even when I’m perfectly fine. Recently my final exams were going on, I just didn’t care. All I care about is computer, and I want this to change. No matter how hard I try my brain just stops working or doesn’t think anything else other than computer when I’m studying. Another thing is that I’m a little over weight and same situation I cannot help myself other than to eat junk food. I set up Goals everyday that I will wake up early in the morning but because of the computer I stay all night up and then i sleep whole day. And when I think that tomorrow I’ll have exercise i just become 3x more lazier. I don’t know if this is common or not, I would like some advice Please. (age 15, from India)

I Cannot Control Myself after Loss of Father

Answered by on -


I’m sorry that you are going through this difficult time. Losing a parent at a young age can affect us a great deal. I’m sure that your problems are related to grief and this has possibly led to depression. Depression can cause us to lose interest in things that we used to care about. It can also affect motivation, sleep, concentration and energy levels, among many other things.

Since you lost your father five years ago and you are still struggling, I think it’s time to get some professional help. Handling things on your own is obviously not working.  Talk to your mother about taking you to see a therapist. Also, your local community might offer grief support groups for children who have lost a parent. Your school counselor and doctor are also great resources to enlist as you begin your healing journey.

Life has presented some challenges to you but you can overcome these and get back on track. It will and can get better.

All the best

Dr. Holly Counts

I Cannot Control Myself after Loss of Father

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). I Cannot Control Myself after Loss of Father. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 26, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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