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I Upset My Parents

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Hi. I recently had an argument with my parents, and I was very upset, so I decided to text a friend about it. Needless to say, I vented. The friend I texted doesn’t really have a good reputation with my parents, and they really don’t trust her. So tonight, my mother asked to see my phone, so I gave it to her, and she changed the setting like she said she was going to, but then she decided to start reading through my text messages between me and my friend. She found where I vented, and read it all aloud to my father, therefore not only making me feel ashamed, but also humiliated. Now I’m not only on bad terms with my parents, but I’ve also hurt my mother’s feelings, and both of them are giving me the “silent treatment”. I don’t know how to handle this situation, and I’d be very grateful for any advice or guidance I can get.

I Upset My Parents

Answered by on -


I’m sorry you’re having this trouble with your parents. I would ask to speak to them directly about your venting. I would let them know that you need a safe place to talk about the things that bother you, and that your phone should be your safe place to do that.

Explain that it helps, and that you’re sorry they are hurt, but talking about things with your friends or writing things in a journal, or venting on the phone is the way that you can take care of yourself when you feel upset at home.

Invite them to talk with you about how this venting process can continue for you. Just because they are upset doesn’t mean you have to stop taking care of yourself.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Upset My Parents

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Upset My Parents. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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