Back in 6th grade, my best friend and I (both guys) would mess around and play truth or dare. We would always end up doing sexual things to each other. We didn’t tell anyone except one more guy who we played the game with once. In 8th grade I stopped playing, because I wanted to force myself to be attracted to girls. I am now in 12th grade, and I still do not get sexually aroused by girls. However, more bothering than that, I do get aroused by younger boys. I don’t know if it is because of my middle school experiences or what, but I don’t know how to change. I started hanging around a freshman boy at the start of the year, and we have done a few sexual things. I don’t think he is gay, but then again nobody would think I kinda am either. I have lots of friends, play sports and have had girlfriends like any other high school guy. I hang out with the “popular” people in my grade, and my future looks pretty good if it wasn’t for this gay/pedo problem. I look at other people classified as pedophiles, and I do not fit the category at all, except I have the same feelings towards boys. I will never kidnap or rape a kid, that’s for sure. But I want this weird arousal to go away, and I need to be attracted to girls. Any help would be very appreciated! This has been a very big problem for me and if you could please just give even a little advice it would mean a lot! (age 17, from US)
First of all, being gay and being a pedophile are two very different things. Participation in some same sex exploration while growing up is fairly common but, considering that you are still attracted to the males a few years later and indicated that you do not get aroused by females, there is a strong indication that you are most likely gay and that is not something that can be changed.
However, being attracted to “boys” is more concerning. There are many factors that play into the issue, such as how big the age difference is or whether there is coercion involved. Since you are almost an adult, you also need to be concerned that you could get into legal trouble if you were to have sexual interactions with someone who is still a minor.
I would suggest that you find a therapist who has specialty training with sexual dysfunctions. You may have to do some extensive research online and make several phone calls to find someone in your area who is qualified to help you, but there are many good therapists who can.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts
I Think I Might Be Gay or a Pedophile
Holly Counts, Psy.D.
Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.
APA Reference Counts, H. (2018). I Think I Might Be Gay or a Pedophile. Psych Central.
Retrieved on September 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/05/15/i-think-i-might-be-gay-or-a-pedophile/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.