My problem is a sudden inability to read in past; present and my interests are easily scattered.
Background, and issue:
My father would drink, but life seemed normal, though with hindsight I think our family were not so close. In my 40s I found Al-Anon helped me through chaotic times.
In the first six grades, I was ill a lot and didn’t become very social, though I’ve always had a few friends. In school, music, math, and science were easy. In high school, I tried zen meditation, solo; it worked too well, in a math class the teacher’s equation looked like only “chalk on board” one day, after everything seemed to become not even nothing in one session. I gave up zen.
Behind in college linear algebra, I studied eight hours straight with short breaks; it went well, but a year or two later, trying to read geometric algebra, I couldn’t read two lines without discovering that I wasn’t reading — it was the mental version of watching static on TV. I dropped out and found easy work to rest my mind. German teacher confronted me, as I’d been getting A’s. (She thought I needed a girl friend — and was probably right!)
Several years ago, I realized I’d been in deep depression a long time; I recovered mainly using Edelstein’s book, “Three Minute Therapy.”
Nowadays, I keep finding it hard to focus on a topic for long, or to study deeply a topic to learn it well.
I’m not sure whether something may be wrong inside, needing professional help, or if I should try something like taking fresh aim, adjust, and try simple, limited study goals, with simple, easy steps. I was so used to reading and learning a lot; maybe it’s time to take things with unimaginable slowness!
I’d be glad to consider a professional’s view on this, as I doubt I have enough background to assess it; feels like my mind may have gotten “hurt” somehow, and I’m game to explore healing.