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My Dad Verbally Abuses My Mom

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My father has been repeating this cycle for over 20 years now. He first finds the smallest things and blames it on her by throwing a tantrum. He already has high blood pressure and diabetes and therefore uses it as a scapegoat. The worst thing is that even though my mother clearly wants out of the marriage, she still has a baby, my two sisters and I to take care of. However, my mother is a housewife and cannot support us if she leaves him. He continuously tells her that he regrets marrying her even though my mother grew up in a wealthy family and gave up everything to be with him. He used to physically abuse her going to the point of hurting the kids to get to her. However after marriage counseling he reverted to verbal abuse. We are stuck. Extremely stuck.

My Dad Verbally Abuses My Mom

Answered by on -


It is time for you to get some help. The burden of witnessing your father’s abuse throughout your childhood now needs to have action. I would highly recommend contacting your local women’s center and explain what’s going on. Most counties have a women’s center that has a hotline. You can call, explain your situation, and they can offer guidance.

As a backup I would recommend talking to your high school counselor. He or she often has resources available that can help when this kind of abuse is involved.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Dad Verbally Abuses My Mom

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Dad Verbally Abuses My Mom. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 19, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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