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Confidence Issues, Social Insecurity and Split Personality

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10 years ago when I was 21, I moved countries. I started studying here and I learned the language more or less, I even managed to write a thesis required for the diploma. Somewhere in between I have realized that I developed some sort of split personality. Somehow my native personality doesn’t translate in to my ‘English’ personality. Awful lot of times I can’t produce a decision based on my personal (native) choice, because it takes me lot of time to access that information so I rather rely (almost as if i was lazy) on random decisions. It scares me because it’s almost like there’s no bridge between my 2 personalities. It feels like they’re not my decisions, because they are random and don’t carry any emotional charge. Its really difficult to live my life like that, because every social situation causes great anxiety in me which causes me to pull more and more inside myself. I realized lot of times I find myself just quiet and not talking most of the conversation, I’m afraid to have an opinion on anything… I know i’m heading straight into bigger issues, but I don’t know how to help myself.

Confidence Issues, Social Insecurity and Split Personality

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Thank you for your email. I think this is an interesting phenomenon. I have experienced this with people from other cultures. Many of the concepts in your native language may not translate easily into English. I’ve often found when doing therapeutic or emotional work with clients who have English as a second language, I’ve asked them to talk about their feelings in their native tongue. This opens them in a way that is often for superior to them expressing themselves in English. My encouragement would be to experiment with using your native tongue by doing some expressive writing around your core issues. Also, if it is possible, find others who have moved from your country to Ireland and connect with them. My guess is you can get support from them as you work this through.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Confidence Issues, Social Insecurity and Split Personality

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Confidence Issues, Social Insecurity and Split Personality. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 26, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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