10 years ago when I was 21, I moved countries. I started studying here and I learned the language more or less, I even managed to write a thesis required for the diploma. Somewhere in between I have realized that I developed some sort of split personality. Somehow my native personality doesn’t translate in to my ‘English’ personality. Awful lot of times I can’t produce a decision based on my personal (native) choice, because it takes me lot of time to access that information so I rather rely (almost as if i was lazy) on random decisions. It scares me because it’s almost like there’s no bridge between my 2 personalities. It feels like they’re not my decisions, because they are random and don’t carry any emotional charge. Its really difficult to live my life like that, because every social situation causes great anxiety in me which causes me to pull more and more inside myself. I realized lot of times I find myself just quiet and not talking most of the conversation, I’m afraid to have an opinion on anything… I know i’m heading straight into bigger issues, but I don’t know how to help myself.Confidence Issues, Social Insecurity and Split Personality
Confidence Issues, Social Insecurity and Split Personality
Thank you for your email. I think this is an interesting phenomenon. I have experienced this with people from other cultures. Many of the concepts in your native language may not translate easily into English. I’ve often found when doing therapeutic or emotional work with clients who have English as a second language, I’ve asked them to talk about their feelings in their native tongue. This opens them in a way that is often for superior to them expressing themselves in English. My encouragement would be to experiment with using your native tongue by doing some expressive writing around your core issues. Also, if it is possible, find others who have moved from your country to Ireland and connect with them. My guess is you can get support from them as you work this through.