From the U.S. — I’m 15. So ever since a couple years ago, my parents have became very cautious with what I do on my phone and the computer. Now, they block things on my computer, have my whole computer shut off at “bed time” and have it not turn back on until a specific time.
Also, my phone is the same way. Everything blocks at 8:30 until 6 am when I awake. This also includes that certain things can not be downloaded on my phone such as a game without their consent. My struggle is that I don’t know what to do. They like having all the control of my life as much as they can and I am completely fed up. I understand that they just want to help me and what not, but I want to be able to experience my mistakes myself. If I spend too much time on my phone or computer than doing my homework, I want to be able to learn from this. But what I’m being forced to do is just to procrastinate doing my homework. If I got time to myself with my phone, then later on I will be more than happy to do my homework. However, I feel as if this will make it worse for me when I go to college and move out because all I will want to do is be on my phone for all those years that I couldn’t. I just want to get a small amount of freedom and my own choices, but my parents won’t let me. And whenever I do try to talk to them about it, they say I just need to be taught when to do my homework, but I honestly just think it’s going to make it worse for me in the end. Any suggestions on what I should do?
I’m sorry. Your letter only supports your parents’ decision. You are not being “forced to procrastinate.” You are making an immature choice. You will not be on your phone when you move out as some kind of making up for lost time. That too would be an immature choice. The best thing you can do is show your parents that you are mature by sticking to the reasonable schedule they have laid out for you. Having done that for a while (and having the grades to prove it), you will have a leg to stand on when you make another effort to talk with them.
Yes, you should be given the freedom to make your own mistakes but your folks are trying to give you the foundation you need to make mature choices. I’m with them on this one.
I wish you well Dr. Marie
My Parents Are Very Strict
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My Parents Are Very Strict. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/04/28/my-parents-are-very-strict/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 28 Apr 2015) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.