I feel overprotective about my mother because of the fact that I lost my grandparents almost 2 years ago. Since my maternal grandparents’ deaths a year and a half ago, I have been over-protective about my mother. I loved my grandparents very much. Both passed away at a month’s interval and it came as a shock to my mother as well as me. Since then, whenever my mother is out alone, I become hysterical. I constantly ask her not to go out alone, in the fear of losing her. I get so worried whenever she is sick or just catches a minor cold. My dad and I were never that close. I tried telling him how I feel but he dismissed it. When my mother is out alone, I keep on thinking what if something happens to her while she is on the road. I imagine all possible situations and I end up having crying spells. All throughout those hours I fail to concentrate on anything productive. I even discarded the idea of studying outside my State. I’m sure my dad won’t be able to take good care of her. And without mum I don’t even know how I’ll go on. I can’t even imagine a second not knowing if she’s OK. I don’t know if this over-protectiveness is good or bad. But I get the feeling that I keep losing everyone I love. (From India)
I think you’re very wise to understand the connection between the loss of your grandparents and the fear you have with your mom. Your heightened sensitivity makes a great deal of sense.
Are there other family members, or extended family members you can talk to about this? Perhaps an aunt or uncle? Talking to another adult about these feelings may be helpful as they will be familiar with the situation — and could possibly offer you some ways to cope.
If family members aren’t available locally — try calling via Skype. If a family member isn’t available you may want to try talking to someone at your school or place of worship. The kind of grief and anxiety you are feeling is very understandable. Finding someone you trust to talk to should be helpful.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Overprotective About My Mother. Psych Central.
Retrieved on September 16, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/04/26/overprotective-about-my-mother/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.