From the U.S.: I was sexually assaulted from the time I was 11 to the time I ran away from home at 17. I was kicked out of my family’s home, and sent to a place where I was verbally abused. (Told I was worthless, useless, and never would amount to anything, also accused of being a liar). After that I was sent back to my mom’s and sexually abused again. I tried many times to commit suicide and failed. I’ve been in an overnight mental hospital as well. I ran away from home as soon as I could.
Since than, I have dropped out of school, become a shut-in, and have immense anxiety. I never leave the house unless someone is with me. I have tried meds and hate them. Lately I have been able to deal with facing my PTSD, but cannot hold a job due to stress (Been through 7 jobs in the last year) or go to school because I dropped out and can’t concentrate. Once stress hits me I am useless. I am always afraid and on edge, and can’t focus on anything, and become extremely violent and aggressive if someone ‘threatens’ me or stresses me out. I barely get out of bed because I see no point. I know I have depression along with my PTSD. I have a really hard time trying to be a progressive member of society.
I have no friends and cannot socialize. (I was homeschooled, forced to stay inside my entire life while I was being sexually abused). I’ve also had problems with opiate and benzo addiction, as no SSRI has ever done anything for me.
Should I seek therapy even though it hasn’t worked in the past? Should I try and use my diagnosis and experience to get on disability since I am unable to function in a work environment?Should I Seek Therapy Again?
Should I Seek Therapy Again?
Therapy “doesn’t work” for many reasons. Sometimes the therapist and client don’t connect as they need to. Sometimes the therapist isn’t sufficiently experienced in the issues the client is presenting. And sometimes the client isn’t quite willing to give it an honest try. (Those are just a few of the reasons.) When people see me for the first time, I always ask them to trust their instincts. If they feel that we can work together after talking with me for half an hour or so, we probably can. But if there is something about the interaction that makes them feel too distrustful or if I remind them of someone they don’t like, for example, then they are probably not going to be able to engage as fully and honestly as they need to. In that case, they should interview at least one or two more therapists to see if they can find a better fit.
You’ve been through some terrible times. It is no surprise that you suffer from PTSD. Therapy really can help. I think you owe it to yourself to make at least another attempt to heal before resigning yourself to a life of isolation and unemployment. If holding a job and being more social is too much for now, your therapist would probably help you determine intermediate goals to work on until you have enough strength and health to take on relationships and a job.
I wish you well.