Home » Why Won’t He Kiss Me or Reciprocate?

Why Won’t He Kiss Me or Reciprocate?

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I have been seeing someone for the past 7 months. I have been giving him oral sex. He will barely touch me and when he does it’s only over my clothes. The thing that upsets me the most is that he won’t kiss me. I perform such an intimate act with him and he won’t touch or kiss me. When I ask him why he will evade the subject, he doesn’t want to talk about it. During intimacy he will not look at me, he looks away, sometimes he puts his shirt over my head. I am beginning to feel very hurt and my already suffering self-esteem is diminishing because of this. He has mentioned he’s shy, but he’s not shy when it comes to initiating and navigating me to pleasure him. I would think after 7 months if he had any feelings for me, he’d want to kiss me. I’m wondering if I’m being used. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me or what to do. Nothing like this has happened to me before. (age 41, from the US)

Why Won’t He Kiss Me or Reciprocate?

Answered by on -


Yes you are being used. You need to stop second guessing yourself and get out of this relationship before you waste any more time. Shy or not, he is being disrespectful and selfish. Cut your losses and go find someone who treats you with respect, someone who is an equal participant in the relationship.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

Why Won’t He Kiss Me or Reciprocate?

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). Why Won’t He Kiss Me or Reciprocate?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.