I am the worst person that I know. I plagiarize, steal, and lie. I don’t know why I do it and I know it isn’t the right thing to do and it makes me feel even worse that I did what I did even if I subconsciously knew the consequences. I hate myself for the way I am, and I feel like I don’t deserve anything or anyone. I trick myself into thinking that everything’s okay and that I am not a horrible person, but I know deep inside that I actually am. I don’t know what to do at this point. I have lost all my friends and am alone at school. I deserve it, which is the worst part of it. Please give me word of advice. (age 17, from US)I Am a Horrible Person and I Can’t Forgive Myself
I Am a Horrible Person and I Can’t Forgive Myself
A: I don’t believe that you are a horrible person, but it does seem like you are making some bad choices. The great thing about that is that you can make different choices and change the course of your life. It’s hard to be liked if you “lie, steal and cheat.” It takes courage to be honest and authentic, but ultimately, it is the right thing to do and the rewards of doing so will begin to pour in.
Since these negative choices might be a habit by now, I suggest that you seek professional help so that you can turn things around. A therapist can help you examine why you do the things you do as well as help you find alternative approaches. In the meantime, I would suggest that you seek support from someone already in your life such as a family member or a friend. I know that you say you have lost all your friends, but taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing for any harm you have done will go a long way to rebuild relationships. If that doesn’t work, put your efforts into becoming friends with someone who you don’t know so you can start fresh.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts