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Cant Stop Thinking about My Boyfriend’s Past

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I can’t stop thinking about my boyfriend’s past and he also was talking to three different girls while being with me. I mean he was my first boyfriend, we are still together. But now he recently told me that he might have HIV/AIDS because he had unprotected sex once. He tells me that he hasn’t gotten tested for it and is showing symptoms. He has also talked to three girls behind my back and I can’t seem to forget about it or forgive him either. What should I do? He has also tried many times to show me that he has changed I just don’t believe him. I mean I used to trust him but because these three girls he ignored me for I can’t seem to forgive him at all. The same month that I found out that he was talking to these three girls I got very sick and I had a miscarriage. I have been feeling very depressed and don’t know what to do.
-Thank You

Cant Stop Thinking about My Boyfriend’s Past

Answered by on -


There were several things going on here, let’s see if we can sort them out. First, if you’ve just gone through a miscarriage then your hormones may be dysregulated. You may want to get a physical — just to make sure you’re okay.

I would highly encourage your boyfriend to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. You want to know what the risks or to your health. But in either case you’ll want to have yourself tested.

Finally, this romance doesn’t sound very grounded. If he’s saying that he doesn’t want to get tested for STDs, is lying to you, seeing three other women, and you don’t trust him — then the question is why are you still in the relationship? Maybe it is time to move on.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Cant Stop Thinking about My Boyfriend’s Past

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Cant Stop Thinking about My Boyfriend’s Past. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.