I am diagnosed major depression, chronic recurrent, and GAD. Have multiple sclerosis dx in 1987. Two estranged adult children. Significant isolation, financial concerns, slowly opted out of friendship starting 6 years ago and now have none by design. I have near daily suicidal ideation which is calming, have method and access but no time table or immediate intent. One previous attempt at age 26 by taking 40 ativan but was intoxicated. I am depressed and in the weeds. How dangerous or at risk am I really? (age 63, from US)Multiple Sclerosis, No Support and Daily Suicidal Ideation
Multiple Sclerosis, No Support and Daily Suicidal Ideation
You have a lot on your plate with little to no support, so I would definitely say you are high risk. Lots of folks have suicidal thoughts from time to time, especially passive ones, such as feeling like “I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t wake up tomorrow.” However, you are having daily thoughts and it sounds like you have a viable plan. Your saving grace is that you don’t have an immediate intent to follow through, but what if your medical condition worsens or you encounter an unforeseen stressor?
If you aren’t in therapy, you need to be. I would also highly recommend joining a support group for those dealing with MS or chronic medical conditions and I suggest that you take a hard look at why you are estranged from your children and friends. Are the reasons that led to these decisions still valid? If so, and these relationships take more from you than they give, it’s time to make new friends or reach out to other family members or childhood friends. We all need support. Life is too hard to manage on our own, and not only that, when push comes to shove, most people at the end of life reflect on the fact that their relationships with others is ultimately what mattered most. Take some chances and reach out again. Invest in living, not just planning your exit!
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts